need another drink. this is the easiest way
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
