I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
