Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
