so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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