Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
