as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
