Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
