i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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