I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
