I accidentally burped into my bong.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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