real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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