she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
