Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
