Midget sex pt 2 tonight
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
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I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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