considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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