Nicole vs. Life
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
