So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
