she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
