So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize