i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm passing your future prison.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
