I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Randomize
