She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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