That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
