my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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