Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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