just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
