Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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