You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
