why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
