Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
