What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
