we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
