We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize