I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
