I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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