I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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