All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
