I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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