she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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