fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
