If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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