Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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