The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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