I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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