sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
