I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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