I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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