I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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