how can u be prego again
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well you can't waste a boner
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
