dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
