4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
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Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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