And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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