well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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