The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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