My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
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So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
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We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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