So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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