my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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