She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
