I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
