Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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